LivingWithThePain's Blog

{January 30, 2011}   A Happy yet Sad Note

I currently do not have custody of my children.  This was a very hard decision that I made a long time ago.  I am since regretting this decision as I only had the present time in mind and not the future.  I can see that they are differences on when I was with them all the time and now.  I can also see the difference between how they act at their father’s house and at my house.  They jump all over the furniture, including the tables as well as do pretty much whatever it is that they feel they want to do.  At my place we have rules and bed times and consequences when they do not behave accordingly.

My oldest child has been asking if she could come and live with me.  My youngest child has now started on this path as well.  Every weekend they come over and deal with the rules and the consequences with little problems.  They are still kids and will try to test the boundaries when they can, but are put right back in their place.

Today their father came over to pick them up and the cried.  Both of them were putting up a fight and giving their Dad a hard time because they did not want to leave.  Although this did make me a little happy that they would like to stay with me, they were still at my place where they have rules.  So I had to tell them to behave themselves and treat their father respectfully, because he sure wasn’t doing it.  I mean I can only do so much and if he isn’t going to help himself, why should I do it.  My youngest one told me that as soon as they get home, “Daddy will start being mean to us”.  She is now 5, but telling her to clean her room is considered “mean” to her, so I’m not sure what kind of value I need to put there.

I know that when I went to pick them up on Friday, he had a beer in his hand.  I remember him telling me once when we were married, that he was a mean drunk.  He had been sober until after we got divorced.  Another reason I am kicking myself for not taking the children with me.  You can drink and that’s fine, but he could never handle drinking which is why he stopped to begin with.

Anyway, it’s nice that they want to stay here with me, but I’m sure that if they were with me all the time, they would say they want to stay with their Dad.


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