LivingWithThePain's Blog











{March 19, 2010}   Pain at Work

It is hard to work and be in pain.  I have been approved for FMLA at work but I am afraid to use it.  I know that they can not fire me or anything but I don’t want them to take away my loan position, so I work with pain.

It hasn’t been much time for me to think about it lately as I have been running around work.  A few people have asked me if walking around was all I am suppose to do now.  I have to move around a lot to get to meetings or to talk with another department.  What’s funny is that within my loan I have been loaned out twice this week.  I am not working directly with the class we have right now, but the exposure with them would have been great for me.

You would think that with being able to move around that I would not have pain, but I do.  When I finally get to where I am going, I have to sit and listen to that person.  It’s hard to stand when people are giving presentations and have them feel comfortable.  Also, when working with the reps, standing puts some on edge.  I try to explain prior to doing so but they still get nervous so I must sit through the pain.  Also, I cannot bring my heating pad with me wherever I go, so I have no relief with it throughout the day.

I seem to be having more and more spasms that are taking me by surprise.  I am having a hard time at work with this.  I know that I am entitled to an additional break but I rarely find the time to take my normal breaks let alone my extra one.

I ran in to Rebecca the other day, it was great to see someone from my old team.  I miss them all.  I am working a completely different shift so I never see them anymore.  I hope you guys know that I am not thinking I am better, just not there!

I need to start taking better care of myself, nobody else will do it for me.  I am trying to get somewhere at work and become somebody and with this I can achieve that.  So I work through the spasms and the pain with a grin.  My teammates know that I have an issue and are begining to see the signs and know what is happening.  I hate being like a book that can be read.  They know I do not want to talk about it but they seem to “baby” me and help me more on those days.

“The pain never goes away completely” is what I told Rebecca.  Some days are definitely better than others but there is always a dull pain that is managable everyday.  When the spasms come I have to get up and then there is much more pain but I manage.  I am starting to manage it better again but I am taking my medicines like I am suppose too.

No worries everyone, I am doing what I am told to do to take care of myself.  I hope to see you guys again soon.

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