LivingWithThePain's Blog











{March 14, 2010}   The Spasm

I have been working myself this week like a dog.  I have not been taking my additional break like I can, and I needed too, because I started a new position and I want to prove myself to my new supervisors and my team mates. 

So, I have been so busy that I have not had time to even think about the pain, let alone feel most of it.  Which, don’t get me wrong, is fantastic but it takes its toll too.  I had my girls this weekend, which I was not expecting and we had a nice relaxing day. 

I have been having a spasm in my back all day.  It was annoying at first because it would come and go.  Well at around 3 it decided not to play nice anymore.  I had a spasm right in the middle of my back that I had Chris yank me out of the chair I was sitting in and get me to another room as fast as we could so the girls wouldn’t see me cry.

Now let me explain that a little better.  My kids are 6 and 4 and they get really upset when I am having a bad day and they think that they hurt me.  So, instead of having them see me in such pain that I can’t explain to them, I try to shelter them from it.  If they do come into the room, I will tell them what is happening but if not they don’t need to know.

So, that literally doubled me over and had me sobbing within 2 seconds.  I don’t think Chris has ever seen a spasm that bad.  It just came out of no where and left me on my behind.

I think that this was due to a number of contributing factors.  The first is always the number 1 suspect, the Weather.  In Florida the weather can’t seem to figure out what the hell it wants to do at this point and my body is paying the price for it.  Number 2, my diet.  Try as I might, there are somethings that I just can’t go without and I know that I will pay for it.  It is very hard to remain healthy without taking supplements when you can not eat wheat, yeast, starch and red meats.  I am sure there are more that also add to this but I have not figured them out yet.  Number 3, my new job.  Running around, the anxiety of doing a good job, the new people the expectations, missing my kids, wanting to prove myself and not taking proper care of myself.

Between the 3, I am sure that I will continue to have wonderful days off as there is nothing I can really do about the weather.  Hopefully with Spring coming this will come to an end soon.  Once I figure out all the foods that I need to avoid and find the time to make an appropriate diet, I will have to continue with the meal regime as it is.  The job, nothing really I can do about that.  I am trying to leave it at work and not bring the stress home with me.  Also, if I ever want to become a Supervisor, I WANT to finish this program.  This position is all that a Supervisor would do, minus the disciplinary actions.  Which I think is great!!!

Again, if anyone has any tips please share!

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